Look What I found

I knew there had to be some sort of connection!

This dog is like a train wreck. He's horrifying, but I can't look away. He's either the most adorable rabid puppy, or just a stupid ugly dog. I keep expecting him to explode but he won't. I wish he would.

...because every holiday is a reason to make blatant references to Star Wars.

UPDATE

Apparently, what was considered a "normal" Halloween a long time ago was pretty freakin' scary. Behold the horrible proof...

If you've never seen the original "Cuppy Cake" video, check it out here.  If you're a girl, you'll find it utterly adorable.

For the love of all that is holy, please do not go to this site. Okay, I changed my mind, please go so I'm not the only person who has seen this "It's Gross and It's Mine!" colon cleansing contest recap. Please don't ask me how I stumbled upon this mess. Even if I remembered I wouldn't admit it but I for sure wasn't Googling "nasty poo snake in a vegetable steamer" but somehow that's what I got. If you have ever cleansed or ever think about cleansing your colon please do not remove it from the bowl and take pictures of it. If you must, call your roommate, wife or someone else in to look at it then dispatch of the filth. No visual record need be kept for such a momentous accomplishment as an unusual bowel movement. I swear it looks like these peoples intestines are shedding skin like the most disgusting snakes you've ever seen (or eaten).

Oh, and sorry if you're just about to eat or, heaven forbid, were eating while reading this.

Okay, remember my post about monkeys controlling robots with their minds?

Get this...

A group of crazy Brit scientists from Reading University have figured out how to literally give a robot a brain. Okay, so it's not a brain per se, but rather a neuron cocktail of electronic signals. But they are authentic rat brain neurons. Here's the scoop on the robot brain:

This is no ordinary robot control system - a plain old microchip connected
to a circuit board. Instead, the controller nestles inside a small pot
containing a pink broth of nutrients and antibiotics. Inside that pot, some
300,000 rat neurons have made - and continue to make - connections with each
other.
As they do so, the disembodied neurons are communicating, sending
electrical signals to one another just as they do in a living creature. We know
this because the network of neurons is connected at the base of the pot to 80
electrodes, and the voltages sparked by the neurons are displayed on a computer
screen.




Thee neuron-guided robots are now pros at "not bumping into things" thanks to their brain juice. Somewhere the is a rat missing 300,000 neurons and running into all sorts of crap.

I'm all for science but let's stop giving animals control over robots. It's about time they started working on human powered robots. Although, I'm pretty sure that not many animals don't have aspirations of world domination or genocide. So, let's be sure to put the human test subject through a very thorough background check and psych evaluation because...you never know.

[Via Gizmodo via New Scientist via SlashDot]

So, when I was a little kid I wanted to be Mr. T. Never mind that I was 6 years old, scrawny and white. I had official, store-bought Mr. T jewelry that I wore proudly and I pitied the fool frequently. I never had time for no Jibba Jabba. I was listening to 98 KUPD on the radio today and heard mention that Mr. T had made a Snickers commercial that got yanked off the air in the UK. Watch the commercial…

Yes, that was Kirby Heyborne of LDS movie fame getting absolutely owned by none other than B.A. Baracus and his Snickers gatling gun. The reason this got pulled off the air in the UK is because a lot of gays thought Kirby was of their "persuasion" and saw it as Mr. T gunning down one of their own with chocolatey nougat confections. Oh, the Horror!! I've watched the BBC, there's a lot worse things than Kirby Heyborne speedwalking and appearing fruity.
Plus, we all know that he’s just a speed walker and it’s 100% impossible to not look gay while speed walking. We also know it’s 100% hilarious when Mr. T drives through a friggin house just to shoot Kirby Heyborne with a barrage of Snickers bars.
Classic.

And for those of you wondering about the origin of the Snickers gun…wonder no more.

Timbaland.

Those of you hip to the current music scene should already know where I’m going with this. Timbaland (born Timothy Z. Mosley) is a music producer and, from what I can tell, has to be in at least 75% of every song produced by him or pretty much anybody. I give him props for being a great producer. Heck, I’d let him produce my band’s CD (if we were well-known) but I can’t help but think he’d try to elbow his way into actually performing on at least a few tracks.

Take One Republic’s “Apologize” for instance. I’m really not a fan of the song and I’m pretty sure it’s because of the intro. The song starts out soft and nice but then Timbaland, who produced the album, has to throw in his “Eh…Eh…Eh”. He couldn’t resist. I can only image what really happened. One Republic has been working hard recording and finishes up the song. They leave the studio and come back the next day to hear the final cut. Timbaland prefaces the song telling them he “added a little something extra” and that it’s “off the hook” or whatever. Timbaland hits play and the song starts just as they imagined it, then, all of a sudden, there’s some crappy voice saying “eh…eh….eh” that’s not supposed to be there. They stop playback and ask what that is. Timbaland proudly states, “That’s me, dawg! It’s pimp, right?” In their head they want to yell at him for completely ruining the beginning of a potentially good song. But fearing the wrath of their producer and jeopardizing their first major release, they tell him that it’s “dope” or whatever. What a price to pay. Of course this probably never happened but it’s how it all goes down in my head.

I’m okay with Timbaland performing with some artists and I even really like it sometimes. Here are some examples of artists Timbaland has performed with that I’m okay with:
-Justin Timberlake
-Nelly Furtado
-The Pussycat Dolls
-Aaliyah (i still love this song!)

Here are some artists he’s worked with and ended up on the album that I’m not okay with. He just doesn’t belong with these guys:
-One Republic
-The Hives
-Duran Duran (yes, THE Duran Duran)

And here are a few names he’s slated to produce that you know he’ll screw up at least one song by “performing” with the artist/band:
-The Jonas Brothers (not that I really care)
-Linkin Park
-Chris Cornell (potentially huge train wreck or great album)

Why don't you back off, Timbaland. "Why don't you take your sales trophy and have a vacation."

So, I'm sitting at work watching commercials on TV (it's not as awesome as it sounds) and I just saw a commercial for a new game show. I'm torn between wanting to watch it because it's gross and not wanting to watch it because it's gross. The internal struggle is almost unbearable.

The show airs on G4 on July 15 and is called Hurl! Hurl! is basically an eating contest and a not-throwing-up contest all conveniently rolled up into a 30-minute show. From what I gathered, those are the two basic parts. First: the eating. The only discernible food item I saw was a mountain of pot pies but there were other foods. Some were being ladled into mouths with others being drank. I imagine it's some type of time trial and whoever eats the most wins that portion but the most likely loses on the next portion: the spinning. After the "contestants" (read "idiots") have eaten their body weight in miscellaneous food items, they then get spun in a variety of spinny-things and I can only assume the last one to throw up wins. At first I thought maybe if you don't throw up you win but, lets face it, you can't eat 12 pot pies and not ralph. Even if you don't get spun around I'm pretty sure that's impossible. Also, to make sure the dizzied contestants stay "safe" (even though I'm pretty sure eating 20 pot pies is not considered safe) there are guys dressed in full hazmat gear: rubber suits and gas masks. I thought it was a nice touch.

In my family (my mom's side) when we get together we talk about all kinds of stuff. We realized a long time ago that there are always three running themes in our conversations: peeing, pooping and throwing up. So, now you see why I have this dilemma to watch or not to watch. I'm not squeamish and I really don't get nauseous real easy so I could definitely stomach the show (pun intended, i guess). It's just that i don't know how much would be enjoyable and how much would creep into being a little too much. It's a fine line when your televising gratuitous amounts of eating and vomit.

So, set you your DVR's for Hurl! on July 15th! You may also want to keep a bucket nearby just in case (especially if you have pot pies for dinner that night).

You can see the same commercial I saw right here: HURL!

This is what every wedding, birthday, bar mitzvah and any other special occasion cake should look like:

"Soviet scientists in the mid-20th century keep the severed head of a dog alive via an "autojector," a primitive heart and lung machine. The dog reacts to sounds, opens its eyes, eats, licks its lips, and generally looks alive. The video has been debated by experts for years, but now you can be the judge thanks to the wonders/horrors of the internet."

I'm not sure where or if I want to begin. Now, I'm not new to the internet and am fully aware that there are a few people out there that try to trick the rest of us internet-attendees (if this comes as a shock to you, please turn off your computer and place it gingerly into the garbage - it's better that way, for everyone). A few parts of this look pretty questionable (like the citric acid bottle) but otherwise it's a toss up. If it's real...dude, that's messed up. If it's not real...um...that's still pretty messed up. IF it is real, it really makes you wonder if they could do this with other types of heads. Hmmm...

Judge for yourself but think of the possibilities: You could keep Grandma in her own little box and open it up when you wanted to see her. Sure she wouldn't be able to talk but she'd be a great listener. Ooh, maybe she'd even grant wishes like another disembodied-head-in-a-box I know...

This is a real live clip of the two super heroes administering a very real beat down to what appears to be a hobo or a cold-blooded criminal dressed as a hobo. Those of you feeling bad for the hobo should calm down a bit. Batman and Spider-man are expert heroes and don't just beat up anyone for no reason (they're not thugs, jeez!). It makes me wonder what this bum did to incur the wrath of two of our greatest heroes. Maybe he stole a purse or robbed a bank. Maybe he was trying to mug somebody. Who knows. All I'm saying is that I don't need a reason. If Batman and Spider-man think he deserves it, I'm cool with that. I trust their spider/bat judgement. And I felt very privileged to see one of Batman's lesser known crime fighting moves: The Bat-Slap! It's a little know fact that Batman rarely hits people with a closed fist. Slaps are so much more humiliating and, let's face it, gay (for the slapee, not the slapper).

Thank you Batman and Spider-man for keeping our streets safe.


Quote of the day: "The police are on their way, Batman!!"

Apparently NASA is manufacturing invisible space motorcycles to make travel on the moon not only easy...but making us look like "bad ass" astronauts!! In your face, China!!

...or do the singer from Modest Mouse and Brak sound like they could be the same person?

You heard me…cloth. BMW’s Head of Design, Chris Bangle, and his crack team set out to build the GINA Visionary Light Model six years ago. It’s only been revealed recently and is currently on display at the BMW Museum in Munich. Its name, GINA, is an acronym that stands for “Geometry and functions In 'N' Adaptations”. This basically means that they specifically built the car to change and adapt to certain situations or to change shape to the driver’s preference. Although this car actually runs and drives, it won’t see production, which is a shame.

A car built of cloth may sound structurally unsound or completely unsafe but amazingly it’s neither. The structure and safety of cars come mostly from the frame, not the shell. The shell, or panels, are mainly for looks and to keep things (i.e. birds, bugs, hobos, etc.) from getting inside your fancy BMW. With this mentality, Bangle and his team set out to design a lightweight car that pushes the boundaries of what we think cars can be. A new line has been drawn in the sand. The GINA consists of only four panels and the rest is a polyurethane-coated Lycra that is stretched over an aluminum frame that can be altered by electric and hydraulic actuators. The fabric completely covers the tail lights but is opaque so the light is visible through the fabric. The headlights open up like your car is waking up. It’s kind of cool and creepy at the same time (“Dude, I think your car just winked at me.”) BMW Company officials had this to say in regards to not placing GINA into any type of production, "It is in the nature of such visions that they do not necessarily claim to be suitable for series production. Rather, they are intended to steer creativity and research into new directions."

I love this idea. One of my goals in life is to own a BMW. It’s this direction in design that earns them the label ‘The Ultimate Driving Machine’. Check out the video below for more information and to see this shape-shifting car in action.



*Okay, so you can’t get this fabric at JoAnn’s but you could totally decoupage some sweet paisleys or what-have-you to the outside. Huh…I guess you can do that with your car now…never mind.

via Wired

She just lost her job at a medical staffing firm. They called it downsizing, I call it super gay. I'm the kinda guy that hates the fact that I have to give a two weeks notice but employers can fire you if you look at them wrong. Lame. So, I dedicate this video to my sister, Holly. I love you and wished you could freak out like this guy (or at least I hope you did in your head).



I gotta hand it to this lunatic; he did what most of us dream of doing everyday. Kudos to you, crazy guy. May you not get raped in whatever mental hospital they throw you in.

Well, a visionary man named Lee Isherwood, obviously taking a lead from dogs and unsupervised toddlers, has created a men’s urinal crossed with a sink. You can literally wash your hands while going pee. It gets better (if that’s even possible). Get a load of this visual:


There is a little basin at the top which has an infrared sensor that turns on the faucet. This is not new technology; but never has an auto faucet been married with a urinal. While washing your hands in the toilet the water runs out of the little basin and into the urinal portion acting as the flush mechanism. For those non-hand washers out there, not flushing just got added to your list of offenses. You make me feel dirty. I have to wash my hands now…oh look, a toilet!

So, I've been thinking about making my own blog for a while now and finally got around to it. I have all these awesome visions in my head of what it will be like and they are all incredible. But like most things in life, it probably won't translate well from my head to the web. Oh well, I'm not the one reading it.

So while I was looking for a killer template for my blog I stumbled upon the template you see now. I thought to myself, "That looks pretty BA, if I say so myself." So i loaded it up and just now realized, a day later, that there are freaking butterflies up in the corner. But they're BA butterflies so don't mess with them.

deal with it